7 Reasons Why Nigerian Ladies Get Hurt In A Relationship

1. Lack Of Kingship

Most Nigerian ladies lack Kingship they fail to understand their

rights to protect their relationship territory. God made man;

male and female he made them. The first assignment he

gave this male and female is to dominate their territory. Most

females do not know their role as partner to their husband.

They are expected to lift their families to God and bear the

burdens of the relationship with the man. A girl is going out

with a guy and she is praying for the guy to ask her hand in

marriage instead of praying for the guy’s solvency to life’s

issues like financial, political and social. She expects to be a

liability instead of an asset to the man. She looks down upon

herself and tells God that only this man can make her happy.

If you pray for the man’s success (not putting one leg out

and one leg in), God will reward you with the man. 

2. Self Centered
Most Nigerian ladies enter relationship (consciously,

subconsciously or unconsciously) with a self centered

motive. No wonder comments like “he has not asked me to

marry him and I have let go of other suitors”, “all men are

bad”, “I have feelings for that guy and he is not asking me

out”, etc. Since females are crammed and mostly stuck on

relationship issues, it suffices to say that they make no effort

to understand the male counterpart. If the male counterpart

does not meet their preferences, they get worried

unnecessarily and develop a pattern of helplessness. They

fail to see their contribution in the whole relationship

problem and continue casting blame. This in itself is one of

the greatest issues of relationship amidst other self imposed

vices.

3. Lack Of Purpose
In a committed relationship, she is

expected to have a defined purpose which should align with

the purpose of the proposed man. When a female has a

purpose, it is easy to decipher your emotional weakness

when choosing your life partner. If you base your

relationship on an ephemeral stuff like the kind of car he

drives, how good he is in bed or how tall he is, you will end

up getting hurt after 2 years into that said relationship.

Choose your partner based on purpose so you will have

something to hinge on during crisis which is inevitable. .

 
4. The Weakling Mentality
Nigerian ladies actually believe they are the weaker s*x so they

allow the man define their happiness. The cultural

conditioning gives them this “I need to be pampered and

taken care of” mentality. Truth the told, you are created to

be a help-meet to a man not to be pampered by a man. You

may not be as physically strong as a man but you have a

stronger influence. What you lack, you are compensated by

other sense of strength. Females fail to maximize their

potential for the good of the relationship but sit back defining

set of roles for themselves.

A female friend complained to me that she has been slapped

by her boyfriend and she wanted a break-up. Then I asked

what she did but she claimed she did not do anything. I

asked her if her boyfriend had a mental problem and she

looked at me obviously shocked with the question. She said

no. I asked her if she has ever heard or seen her boyfriend

slapped other females like his colleague or even her sister.

She said no. So your boyfriend came to you one morning looked

at you and slapped you. She did not wait for me to explain as

she called me a chauvinistic pig. After much discourse, she

finally made me understand she had nagged and insulted

him because he failed to keep to a promise of buying her a

shoe.

5. Commit To The Relationship
Nigerian ladies get overwhelmed by deep emotional turmoil so in

order to free themselves; they look for the easy alternative

which is to guard their heart from such pains. This

alternative could easily be avoided if their perspective to

relationship was different- commit to the relationship not to

the man. The man is subject to change because he is human

and it may be difficult to handle such evolution. You will be

able to adapt to his new state of mind of the man, if you

commit to the relationship instead of the man. An example is

a man that looses his job and decides to drink as a solace to

his problem. If you commit to the man, it will be difficult to

pray for him without seeing him in the light of his present

position. This nullifies your belief which is a prerequisite for

answered prayers.

6. Openness In Communication

Nigerian ladies have a firm belief that they are wired naturally not

be open in dealing with their male counterparts. Imagine a

female going steady with a guy for 3 years and expecting to

get married without voicing her intentions. Why spend 3

years with a guy and you can not tell him how you feel? Why

believe that you will lose something by speaking openly with

a guy you intend to marry? The only thing you will lose is

pride and fear. My dear females, you are not wired to be closed, you chose to be closed because you are afraid of the

outcome of being open.

7. Trust Is Not Love 
Many Nigerian ladies do not know the difference between trust and

love. The story above indicates females’ inability to love

without trust. From my friend’s story, that was the first time

the man hit him and she was obviously shocked at his

reaction. Since, I can not judge the man without hearing his

own side of the story, I told her she was expected to love her

hubby and trust God. Man is fallible, no matter how

wonderful he appears and perfects himself to be. If females

have it in the back of their mind that every man out there is

not perfect, it will easier for them to transit issues

flawlessly. They will commit their man to God, and confirm

his strength not emphasize on his weakness. Jesus loved

humans but did not commit himself to them because he knew they were weak.

 I drop my pen at this juncture..

Feel free to add yours Compiled